All posts by Prabhmeet

Prabhmeet Singh is a Chartered Accountant qualified from KPMG, currently working in strategy. His experience from working with many people from different backgrounds, companies and roles has only driven his passion for understanding what makes us human. Outside of work, he spends his time studying people through experiencing life and running his culture change consultancy Jio Consulting. Join him on his journey to live and share in the experience that are 'real time' to transcend from living to being alive!

Time-peace

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Whilst I spent some time in Spain, I was fortunate for a few nights to have stayed in a beautiful Hotel with a balcony overlooking the mountains on the small island of Mallorca.

London life seemed so far away.

I watched one evening intermittently (as I read my book on my balcony) how the sun moved slowly from the east to set in the west. Not an unusual phenomenon some may be thinking.  Why was I so amazed?

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Well, before timepieces were invented this is how people would tell the time.

In the time that I watched the sun move, I was reading my book. But what were you doing?

How did you use this 2.5-3hrs? How do you use 2.5-3hrs every day?

Why does it matter? Just like the sun, another 2.5-3hrs will come tomorrow.

I read a very interesting perspective on this that I want to share with you from an unknown author.

Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account each morning with £86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day.
Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every penny, of course?

Each of us has such a bank. It’s name is time.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to a good purpose.

It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no drawing against “tomorrow.”

You must live in the present on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success!
The clock is running!! Make the most of today.

Time is one of the most valuable things available to us. But we probably value it the least because everyone has it. It’s a given. We don’t often think about our life span. As humans we often value things by looking laterally and comparing to how many other people have it. If I have x amount of something, how much do other people have? If everyone has it then economics tells us it’s value must be zero. Or mathematically, this could also be viewed as infinitely invaluable. That depends on you. How do you view it?

I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll do another year in this job then change. I’ll make up with my father next month when I see him. I’ll take my wife out next week. I’ll learn that language or play that instrument one day.

But how do we remember to value time? In finance when you value an investment, you work out the present value of the future stream of income.

The future stream of income doesn’t have to be monetary.

In everything you do, in every relationship you engage in, in all the decisions you make and even in the words you speak. Stop and think for a moment. Is this an investment in my health and happiness. Am I advancing myself as a human being?

Scientific research also tells us time can transform our preferences, reshape our values and alter our personalities. But we only realise this when we look backwards. We don’t seem to be able to imagine this going forward. What if we now know this. How will you now make use of your time?

Soon all this conscious thinking will become sub-concious thoughts and you will find you will be drawing out every penny of your time bank account excited for tomorrow’s full balance.

 

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My happiest time was when I was able to ‘hear’ the sun

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So I’ve just got back from spending some time in Berlin! A lovely city, where I met some amazing people.

One night in a bar called King Size in Berlin, I came across a very successful and well travelled businessman and we got talking.

It started with the usual small talk “Have you been here before? What are you doing in Berlin?” etc and we realised we have similar consultancy background in finance and we’re both economists at heart.

This immediately led to familiarity and we talked more openly about how the corporate culture was flawed with inefficiencies that limit the success of true entrepreneurs.

As our opinions and perspectives gelled more and more we opened up more and more talking about cars, watches and other materialistic items that naturally drive us as humans. He told me he had owned every car I could think of, Aston Martin, Ferrari, Porsche and he had even met Patek Philippe to have a custom made watch to his requirements.

No, he was not trying to hit on me as I’m sure some of you are thinking.

But then he said “Prabhmeet, out of all the things I have owned in my life, and my experiences of living and working all over the world, my happiest time was the two weeks I spent with a tribe in Australia. Living and eating just as they did”.

I was amazed.

Here I was standing in a bar, with music playing and people dancing and drinking and I’ve somehow managed to stand next to this one guy who is searching for the same answers that I am. And I have my own experiences and my own opinion.

The conversation then turned to what do you want out of life? What is the meaning of life?

Now you can imagine I’m pretty interested. This 53 year old guy, a business consultant running a very successful international consultancy is telling me the best things in life are free!

I wasn’t convinced. “But I want a Ferrari! I’m pretty sure I will be smiling when I’m driving around in a Ferrari” I say to him. Almost expecting a reaction.

He laughed and said “Yes, you sure will! But for how long?”.

After going through every single car possible hoping the next one will bring him more happiness he concluded that materialistic items will only bring short term happiness.

I’d read about this stuff in books. But never met someone who had actually lived it.

As a true entrepreneur short term happiness wasn’t enough and he wanted more! How do we get long term happiness?

By chance he had met this tribe and spent time with them. And on the first day they welcomed him with a ‘Hello!’ It was only 24 hours later they then communicated further with him.

This was deliberate. In those 24 hours you are allowed to realise and take in everything around you first, he told me. People, the houses, the sky, the sand, the wind.

24 hours is a long time for silence in a desert. You then start looking inwards. Who are you? Why are you standing here in the middle of this desert? What are you feeling right now? Are you happy, sad, hungry, confused? You start thinking about all the important people in your life. What actions or achievements have given you the greatest happiness in your life? A real and lengthy introspection.

“My happiest time was when I was able to ‘hear’ the sun”, he said to me.

I was awfully confused. How much had this man had to drink! I must have said it over in my head about five times, while he just stood there smiling, knowing I was trying to decipher what he had said.

In everyday life we take all these things for granted. A hello is often followed with a full conversation. I personally sometimes even walk down the road surfing the internet or reading messages on my mobile phone, let alone taking in the wind or the sky. We all do it.

We can seek happiness in our lives where we live with an attitude of gratitude. But how many of us really do this? How simple…be grateful for everything. Where’s the catch? But we want more! We fear losing what we have today so we don’t enjoy it today!

When you have done these two levels of thinking of the external and the internal you reach a new state. A state of ‘now what’? We went on to discuss.

So why are you here?

When you look back at your life, there may be three things you want remembered

1. What would people say about your character

2. What difference have you made to OTHER peoples lives

3. What have you achieved?

Are you living your life currently that will make you proud of all of these areas?

If not, what can you start doing now so you can look back and tick off three of these boxes (or any others) happily.

We both concluded that the greatest happiness comes from living a life where you can serve others.

But why does this bring us so much joy? It’s almost like it charges your batteries and makes you feel energised when you do something good for others. It’s not a heaven or hell thing. It’s not to boast and tell others but it just feels good here and now. The rewards are instant. You feel energised and happy.

How does that happiness compare to buying say a new car or clothes? That feels good too right? But is the happiness different? Could there be different levels of happiness?

What do you think?

But how do we actually dedicate our lives to helping others. Not all of us are multi millionaires. We need to work to buy houses, cars and send our children to school.

The serving others concept doesn’t mean that we have to overnight drop everything and all turn in to Mother Teresa.

It means that in everything we do, every person that we meet, every opportunity we have to serve, we embrace it. Happiness can then be found in every day life.

A lot of people ask me “But how do we actually do this”? Make a commitment. Commit yourself for one week to do one good selfless act EVERY day. Just start with a week. And after a week let me know how it makes you feel.

Keep your batteries charged and notice the impact it has on your character and others around you. All three boxes are ticked.

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What do you want to be when you grow up?

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Ever had someone ask you this question?

Seems like we know the answer when we are in our early teens.

What happens around the age of about 20? For those old enough, what happens about ten years in to your working life?

As children we have a lot less fear. So we are able to think and connect more with our sub-conscious thoughts and not distract from them. Some have such a strong connection that they know that’s what they will do. And they do.

Let me explain. I know a friend who is now a doctor. She told me from the age of about 13 she knew that is what she wanted to do because her brother was ill in hospital as a child and she saw how the humour and care of their doctor was able to help the situation. It wasn’t just his job it was his personality she was referring to.

She sounded very tired almost slurring her words as we spoke one day on a call at about 10pm at night, organising plans for the next day. I asked her how her day was. She said “I’m exhausted both physically and mentally” then went on to describe in detail how a nurse had misplaced some notes and a patient was shouting at her earlier in the day.

I asked, smiling on my side of the phone, “Do you like your job?”, expecting her to rant about all the things wrong with it. She said “No, I love my job”.

How? Why? Walking five miles a day in a ward, getting berated by patients then filling in piles of paper work didn’t sound like an exhilarating job to me. But she seemed content. As if she was doing what she was meant to be doing. As if she would not even seek to find happiness in another role because she was so happy. The grass was greener where she was.

I have another friend, on the other hand who wanted to be a pilot ‘when he grows up’.  He now works in Finance and is 10 years in to his career. He told me how everyday on his drive to work he would watch the planes fly in the sky and daydream…what would life have been like. “That could’ve been me”.

So I asked him, what happened? Where did the plan change? He said at about 16 he never thought he would be good enough to pass the exams required to be a pilot. So he didn’t know what to do and just chose Finance at University as a generic topic to keep the options open when he graduated. He knew anything on the medical side was not for him. He used a process of elimination to set his career path. Much like I did in multiple choice questions.

Life is like a multiple choice question. You can either use a process of elimination to ‘hope’ you get to the right answer, or work out the correct one.

He works shorter hours than the doctor, has less stress, and probably gets paid about the same if not better. I asked him “Do you like your job?”  He said “I’m miserable Prabhmeet, I feel like I’m wasting my life, I could be doing so much more”.

I had many more discussions like this with many many people. Each telling their own story.

Can you relate to this?

I asked my friend what if being a pilot also made him miserable, how does he know he would have been happy. He agreed it could be possible. But, he said he would have been living his passion. He would be working with people in an environment that he enjoys. Because he would be interested he would want to learn more, and progress more in the field.

One thing became clear to me. Choosing a career is always thought of as an outwardly decision. What job will give you respect. What will earn you good money. Where will you have security? What will the job be?

All great questions to ask. But what if we flip this thinking on its head. Choosing a job is very much inwardly.

In fact the key to choosing a career is your personality. You see, the job you will do greatest in, is one that suits your personality. Read both examples above and notice how subtly either people or their personality is described.

For example then, if you are strong, challenging and inquisitive a demanding high pressure role will serve you well.

On the other hand if you like a methodological approach, are more reserved, less aggressive, thats completely ok. Because there are roles that need that EXACT personality to be a success. You don’t need to change who you are.

Sure you can change if you really want to. I’ve tried it. And it’s hard work. You spend more time trying to be someone you’re not and less time focusing on actually progressing in your job.

Have you ever had that feeling when you are around certain people and your shoulders feel tight, your neck is clenched and your mouth struggles to always open. Maybe not to an extreme extent but maybe a little bit..maybe 5% or 10%. And when you are around certain other people, you feel so happy that your shoulders drop, your muscles are relaxed and you feel like you can say anything and people will want to listen.

Match your personality to your career.

How do I know what roles will match my personality?

What would you enjoy doing? Like really enjoy, not what you think you should be doing because of parents, friends, uncles, aunts siblings etc.

If you are working at the moment and you are in a role, feel free to leave a comment saying what personality you think best fits in your career. Let’s help each other through sharing knowledge. You never know how it may impact that one person who is stuck in their career choice but has a lot to offer and comes across your comment and has a eureka moment! This isn’t just me writing, this is  where you can contribute and help others too…and you know what, it will feel great. So give it a shot, there is no right or wrong thing to say just your own personal opinion.

Therefore to summarise, to really enjoy your career, you need to

1. identify your passion

2. to identify your passion you need to think about what you enjoy

3. to think about what you enjoy, you need to understand what your personality is like

4. If you don’t know what your personality is like, think who are the people that I enjoy being around the most. Then think about their personalities

But what if it’s a career that I’m not successful in?

What if I don’t enjoy it after I do it?

What if i don’t earn enough money doing my passion even though it sounds amazing?

Yes, I am aware of the recent trend in house prices and university fees etc.

But let’s all have a big round of applause for…fear. Because this is where fear likes to make an appearance.

As we reach adolescence, our concious thoughts become more powerful than our sub-conscious ones. Then we end up in a career that society wants us to be in.

This isn’t the career that YOU wanted to be in. What a waste huh. I would even quite controversially call you selfish. You have been created to do something great! But you choose to do something that someone else will be great at doing.

Follow the steps above, find your purpose in life then live it!

Try it and see. You won’t have any regrets because you will be doing something that you want to do. That you wanted to try. That you want to experience. Seniority, respect and money will come when you’re not just working through a role but you are awesome at it! Not for your bonus, friends or family but for yourself! The world will call upon YOUR expert knowledge, knowledge you have gained by doing something you enjoy. 

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Hello!

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Welcome to the real time blog about real life experiences.

If you looked back at your life, think back for a moment to your earliest memory. Remember all the significant things that happened to present day. Spend two minutes doing this.

Are you living the life today that you imagined? Did you even imagine what the future would be like?

Have you made any decisions that you feel you ‘regret’. The regret is in inverted comma’s for a reason, which will become clear as you read.

We go through so many situations in life that we don’t ever know how to deal with. We do deal with them. But are they the best outcomes? Where did our answers come from? Society or your true self.

Follow me on a journey as I experience real life situations and discuss how potentially overcome them. Can you relate to them? Leave a comment and let’s start discussing.

Maybe through reading this blog we will realise that we are living life. That’s the first step in identifying how we then start to feel alive! Not just for a week or a month. But always…consistently.

Sounds hard? Let’s see what happens?

 

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